FM

Dec 102012
 

Brendan Rodgers is doing a fine job as Liverpool FC manager and should finish in the top half of the Premier League but we’ve got some great tips that will help propel the Reds higher up the table. Here are some handy helping hints which should increase those possession percentages further and help Liverpool get even better this season.

1) Play Luis Suarez between the sticks Stewart Downing has been employed as a left-back and Jose Enrique was practically a striker against Tottenham. Why stop there? Luis Suarez demonstrated during the 2010 World Cup that he could make a good goalkeeper after the Uruguayan palmed a Ghana shot over the crossbar to ensure his team qualified for the semi-finals. He’s also so good at diving that between the sticks is surely his natural position.

2) Adopt a rugby-style scrum against opponents Possession is very important according to Brendan and a great way of keeping the ball is to “scrum down” and mow down the opposition until the ball crosses the goal-line. We can just see Martin Skrtel, Daniel Agger and Jamie Carragher powering a front row of Joe Allen, Glen Johnson and Raheem Sterling, while bossy boots captain Steven Gerrard could help bark orders as the Liverpool scrum descends on goal.

3) Request a refund for Stewart Downing What happens when you buy something from a shop and it doesn’t work properly? You take it back to the shop, give someone a piece of your mind and return home with your money. The same should be applied with dud football players and Liverpool could rake back their £20 million spent on Stewart Downing by getting in touch with Aston Villa right away.

4) Make sure the Liverpool players are rewarded for “brilliant performances” It’s a fact that Liverpool should be top of the Premier League right now rather than languishing in 12th place. After all, they have served up fourteen “fantastic performances” this season according to Rodgers, with particular highlights being the 3-0 dousing at West Brom, the 2-0 home reverse against Arsenal and the spectacular draw at home to Stoke City. When people say the table doesn’t lie, it’s they who are lying.

5) Make a DVD and send it to the FA According to Rodgers, the challenge by Moussa Dembele on Steven Gerrard was “bordering on assault” and the Liverpool manager has every right to be paranoid about his team not winning stonewall penalties. It’s not as though Gerrard and Luis Suarez have a reputation for theatrics – come on refs sort it out! The club need to bring their victim complex to the fore on this one and a 10-hour DVD of Suarez and Gerrard tumbling in the box should convince the FA they are being harshly treated. At least 27% of these tumbles are guaranteed to be legitimate fouls.

  10 Responses to “Five ways that Brendan Rodgers can turn Liverpool FC into world-beaters”

  1. Go see a doctor

  2. Getting rid of all CLOWN FOOLGLISH’s signings is a start ? Shambolic Pathetic little man he is for destroying are club ???

    • You are obviously the fool. Dalglish has done so much for Liverpool. You must be young. Rogers will be given three years. That is what they should have given Kenny. They may not flourish under Rogers but cannot judge what the King would have done with them.

  3. knob head

  4. yeah its on your head

  5. and by the way that was an amazing comeback that was

  6. Mental illness comes without a warning. Are you related to the 2 Aussie jockeys?

  7. What a pathetic excuse for humour. Don’t give up your day job.

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