Julen Lopetegui, Premier Bound & Heads Will Turn

It’s weird. It’s hard to put into words. Yes we’ve clinched promotion and yes we’ve taken the first step to cracking the elite, but it’s all just a bit meh. Not only was it an anti-climax with promotion being sealed when Fulham dropped points at home to Brentford, but the game against Blues was a bit shit.

Anti-Climax Alert

Yes, we won and never looked in danger of doing anything other than the double over Brum, I dunno what it was, it was something that should make me feel a great deal of elation, but for whatever the reason, it hasn’t. I’ve got a theory around it all…

Back in 2003 when we made it back to the ‘promised land’ after nigh on twenty-years, that was something special. We’d fallen in the playoffs a number of times before, yet, I was always of the belief that if we ever made the final, we’d win it and lo & behold we did. 08/09 was good as well due to the complete surprise.

We’d finished seventh the season prior to that, missing out on the playoffs on goal difference and no-one really expected us to do much damage, nonetheless, we had a vibrant side with Jarvis and Kightly on the wings who in turn fed Ebanks-Blake and Iwelumo who tore the league to shreds. That was very good. This time is different.

Let’s Not Pretend It Wasn’t, Promotion Was Expected

Promotion was expected. That may come across as rather arrogant, I’m not arsed though. We’ve got by far the best squad in the division and more importantly, we’ve got the best head coach/manager in the second tier by a country mile. It did make me wonder if we had appointed Julen Lopetegui at the beginning of last season instead of Zenga, could this have happened last year? Maybe. We wouldn’t have Neves, mind, so I’m happy it’s happened the way it has.

So, what now? We’ll win the title on Saturday when we beat Bolton. Yeah, when, not if. Part of me is torn on that game though. I’d be half inclined to say throw the game and let Bolton win because it will drag Blues into the shit and that would make it somewhat of a perfect season.

We win the league, Blues get relegated, the shit get relegated, Villa lose in the play-off final, Stoke get relegated and hopefully Dean Saunders will be found decapitated somewhere. That may sound harsh regarding Saunders and that’s because it’s meant to, I can’t stand the bloke.

Why Is Everyone Growing Up?

I should probably talk about the game on Sunday but I really can’t be bothered because it really was just one of them that had an end of season feel about it and to make matters worse, there wasn’t a pitch invasion. Fingers crossed for one at Bolton on Saturday when we win the league. Hard to imagine it, mind. It’s almost as if everyone is growing up which is not what we need, after all, who doesn’t love a bit of controversy?

Since our promotion has been confirmed, we’ve already been linked with a whole host of daft names such as Jack Wilshere and Joe Hart and one bookie has got us as short as 10/1 to sign Fernando Torres. I can tell you now with 100% confidence that none of those three will be signing for us. Fact.

We are going to turn a few heads this summer with the money that we spend and I’m thoroughly looking forward to the muppets suggesting we’ll go straight back down changing their tune to “it’s not fair that Mendes is involved” when we’ve pumped five past them. Have some of that.

Something that I’m going to tell you now, just so you don’t think it’s all sour grapes in twelve months when we’ve fallen flat on our face; I despise the Premier League with a vehement passion. It’s just a load of old shit because you get day-trippers wanting the tickets and the atmosphere becomes stale.

Sort The Cup Run Out, Nuno

Maybe it’ll be different than before due to the point I made earlier about us making some waves in the Premier League, however, I feel that it’ll be the same dross as before. I mean, what the fuck are we meant to do when we get Newcastle away at 7:45 on a Saturday night? Don’t get me wrong, it’ll be a right good knees up, it’s just a ballache and it’s only going to get worse.

You could argue that some people (me) are never happy and you may well have a point, I just thought I’d let you know. I’d enter the Checkatrade next year if it’s still in its current format and blow everyone away, yes it’s wrong that Premier League teams can enter it, but if we get a shot at Wembley then fuck ‘um. All I want is a cup run. Sort us out, will ya Nuno?

See you next week.